When the zombies came, it was a bit of a surprise. For a lot of people, it was slightly more of a surprise when
their chosen deity didn’t bamf into existence and vanquish the unclean things. (Turns out no one--gods included--really wanted to touch
them.) The biggest surprise?
The Ninjas.
They came out of nowhere and the putrefied heads began to
roll. City streets were covered in
decapitated corpses. The zombie outbreak
was put down as quickly as it appeared.
Everyone was saved. The Ninjas were victorious.
Until the Pirates showed up.
The zombies were a ruse, a ploy, to bring out the mortal enemy of the Pirates.
Everyone, Ninjas included, had forgotten that Pirates loved the Caribbean and that the Caribbean invented zombies. The people native to the Caribbean were tired
of tourists and the Pirates wanted their mortal enemies flushed out so they
could be destroyed. They struck up a
deal. There was no way they could lose as long as everyone was careful with the flatware.
No one knows which of them
dropped the spoon.
It was a nice spoon.
Sterling silver, really ornate handle.
It was a complete accident that it dropped,
but fortune doesn’t favor the clumsy.
The Frenzy was unimaginable.
Luckily, it only affected Pirates.
As long as you didn’t dress like one, you were safe. (It took a few dead poets and the Massacre of
Wichita Theater Group Presents Hook: Smee’s One Man’s Sail Tale to make that
connection.)
It ended after three months when a cabin boy picked up the
spoon to put it away. By then, the Pirates were down to the last and the Ninjas had so many katanas on back order
they were stealing those big rounded steak knives from restaurants and slowly
sawing people to death.
When they came out of their frenzy, they slipped back into
their shadows without a word. Inspired by the Ninjas and their ingenuity, the
Pirates left alive started a chain of steak houses called Arrrbuckles where no
spoons are allowed.
Sometimes, a Ninja shows up and steals their knives.
We at Arrrbuckles hope you enjoyed the story of how we came to be! Please be sure to ask your serving wench
about our Steak Tarrr Tarrr and, really--we can't stress this enough!--no spoons.
Enjoy your meal!